Are you a roll with the punches kind
of person? Do you take challenges in stride and move along down the road?
Or are you someone who is easily
stressed over life changes? Do extreme life shifts throw you off kilter and challenge
your ability to stay upright and functional?
I’m guessing, if you’re like me,
you’ve got a little bit of both of these types of responses. In fact, most
people typically have a variety of responses to the changes in their lives
based on the type, severity, and scope of change they are enduring.
I mean, it’s one thing if Starbucks is
out of your favorite flavor syrup (oh noes!).
It quite another thing when a loved
one dies unexpectedly.
The fact of the matter is, that change
is one of the few guaranteed constants in our lives. It’s right up there with
death and taxes. Even the recluse who’s holed up in his house, refusing to
encounter the outside world for fear of it hurting him, will experience the plodding
of time taking it’s toll on body and mind.
Face it. Change is here to stay. You
can’t avoid it. So stop trying.
However, you can set yourself up well
to encounter change, endure it, and bounce back. There are things that I can do
to protect myself when I know change is coming. There are healthy behaviors
that I can engage in to process the effects of change. I have coping mechanisms
that I can rely on to weather the turbulent storm approaching.
And it strikes me that I’m certainly
blessed to have the ability (financially, intellectually, emotionally) to even
have the option to foster those healthy behaviors and to prepare for change as
much as possible, because for some people, that preparation is simply not at
option.
In thinking about what we know about
human development, it strikes me that all of our problems come back to the
degree to which we as biological organisms are capable of successfully and
positively adapting to the changes constantly being pelted at us. The
complicated part of all of this of course is that change can come from many
sources. It can compound on top of existing change. It can stem from things completely
out of your control. And it can feed on itself.
For example, say you’ve come down with
the stomach bug. Now, that stomach bug could be brought on by a number of
factors. The microbiologists among us might say that it was brought on due to
exposure to a bacteria or virus that the immune system could not fight off
effectively. The gastroenterologist might say that it’s due to a bout of food
poisoning. But the epidemiologist might say that your race, social status,
level of affluence, and access to healthcare might have influenced the onset
and longevity of this stomach bug. The historian might look at the situation
and say that the neighborhood you reside in has been linked to higher levels of
illness due to the presence of a chemical factory in the 1920s. And the
dietician says that your propensity to eat copious amounts of unhealthy types
of foods means that you’re likely to cause a disruption in your system to
warrant a stomach bug.
These are all valid explanations for
what might be going on.
And the thing is, all of these
explanations might be, at least in part, true.
Because life really IS that complex.
Change is constant and it feeds on the instability of influential life factors
in a way that is often baffling to comprehend.
Coming back to the stomach bug. Let’s
play out two scenarios:
1) You come from an affluent, clean
and safe neighborhood. You haven’t been sleeping much lately due to some work
stress, but you’ve got a vacation coming up that you’re looking forward to
enjoying. You try to exercise at least three times a week, and though you enjoy
the occasional cheeseburger, you tend to have a fairly balanced diet. Somehow,
you contract a stomach bug, and though it makes you miserable for a few days,
and you get behind on some work, you manage to make it through relatively
unscathed in time for your vacation.
2) You’re a single mom with 3 kids
working 2 jobs to make ends meet. You often eat at fast food restaurants
because that’s the easiest and cheapest option. You try to take your kids to
the playground, or go for a walk around the block with them, but only before
dark as your neighborhood is not especially safe at night. You haven’t slept
for 8 hours straight in longer than you can remember, and your youngest child
has an ear infection, but you can’t afford to go to the doctor, so you’ve been
doing home remedies. You get the stomach bug. You fight through it because you
have to, but you notice that even 2 months later, you’re still not feeling
100%. You worry that something might be seriously wrong, but you know you can’t
afford the necessary doctor’s bills to figure out what’s really going on.
Think about it. When you have the
means, access to some of the best healthcare in the world (despite it’s many
limitations), and minimal chance of dying during a normal day, you have
security and position of adaptability that enhances the chances of weathering
disruptive change relatively well.
But when
you don’t have the financial means, have limited access to healthcare, and are
at increased risk of daily bodily harm, chances are that your capability to weather
change effectively and efficiently is hindered.
Scenario
2 is that case.
The
challenges of position, class, status, financial stability, physical and mental
health, stress - we all face them to a
certain degree. But some of us are faced with more of those challenges, and more
often, than others.
And the
ability to adapt to those changes and challenges and move forward from them is
what’s key to survival.
It always
has been. Since the days people were living in caves.
But
here’s a cool prospect about this “adaptability” thing. It’s not entirely
predictable.
We hear
cases every day of children and youth facing horribly traumatic and challenging
struggles in life, only to find that they come out the other side of those
changes stronger and wiser. Think about the kids I wrote about last week living in some of the most crime-ridden neighborhoods of our country who are just trying to get out to a better life. In those situations
of deep struggle, some people express resilience, a scientific term which
refers to the process of flexibly “bouncing back” or recovering from
difficulties quickly. Some people are adaptable to change, despite almost
everything surrounding them stacking the odds against them. Somehow, some
people can make it through, even when it’s least expected.
But there
are those who don’t make it through.
And
sometimes those who don’t make it through had so many things going right for
them, that it’s baffling to see them fail in the face of seemingly minimal
change.
But it
happens every day.
This
inability to exactly predict an individual’s adaptability to change is both the
puzzling, head-scratching part of human existence, and one of the most
beautiful parts of the human condition.
It means
we’re not living in the Minority Report.
Despite scientific advancements and technological leaps forward, we haven’t
cracked the human code. We can’t predict it all.
And
that’s a good thing. Because like any avid movie-goer will tell you, the meat
of the story – what happens to, and through, the characters – and the telling
of it, is what can make or break a movie. Those challenges, predictable and unpredictable, that characters face
that force them to re-evaluate who they are and adapt accordingly – those are
the most moving, thrilling, unflinchingly human stories there are.
I’m not
saying that we shouldn’t try to improve the lives of people facing adversity –
quite the opposite. Removing barriers is one part of that. Providing
opportunities another.
But the
core of what we as humankind can do to benefit one another, is build and
strengthen one another’s capacity to adapt to the never-ending changes in life.
To better weather the damage of the hurricanes of change in our lives
successfully, and well. Increasing the odds that people will adapt flexibly and
positively to change is perhaps one of the most important things we can do for
each other.
Building
people’s capacity to succeed in the face of change and adversity doesn’t rely
wholly on the functionality of bloated systems of government to come through
and save the day, but rather builds on what exists in each person, and changes the
whole from within. It plays to the strengths of human goodness and hope.
Is this
idea of building individual adaptability perfect? No. Does it fix everything? Not
likely. Is it the one and only answer? Definitely not.
But it
means that even in the face of turbulent destruction and horrendous trauma,
there is hope, however small, that perseverance will prevail. Goodness will win
out. Humanity will survive, adapt, and thrive.
That hope
is integral to the plot of every good human survival movie for a reason.
Because
we need that hope to be real to know that we can survive in the face of the ceaseless change staring us down every single day.
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